Season of Eating

As we approach this season of massive over eating in North America, I would like to inform all the moms, aunts and great hostess that small people are actually better eater than big people. The proof is clear from eating contests. A woman of barely over 100 pounds just won the turkey eating contest in New York; and, of course, the greatest eater of all time, Kobayashi Takeru weights in at around 135. The reason I make this suggestion is that at 6’1’’ and 210 pounds, I am usually one of the biggest guy at the festive table. As I gained in age, I also, like so many, gained in weight. Consequently, I can no long eat nearly as much as I once did. Problem is that people think I lie and get insulted when I claim to be full. Before long, an enjoyable dinner becomes a forced feeding. What they should really do is to push the food towards the 90-pound niece down the table. No not can she eat it, she also desperately needs it. Meanwhile, let me have a nice cup of coffee and a little rest before the cakes and pies. Otherwise, I will just have to find some huge friends to bring to dinner parties as decoys.