Tropical True North

This is the time of the year when everyone is making up lists. Environmental Canada is no exception. We just had the wettest and one of the warmest years in the books, and all the top ten weather stories are precipitations and heat related. As someone who grew up in subtropical weather and chose to settle in the warmest and wettest part of Canada, I am not exactly complaining. But it gets me worry a little. It does seem that the temperature of the world is rising and that is certainly a cause for concern. Regardless of the reason for this change, we should at least do the utmost to slow it down a little. Even if we don’t give a damn about future generations, we should make sure that things do not get too out of hand before our time is up. I never quite understand the argument over what causes the rise of temperature. If it is indeed a naturally occurring event, like some argue, it certainly does not need our help to achieve it goal. It is like death: we are all marching toward death, but that does not mean we should hasten it in any way. So, it is warming up and it is not good for us, we certainly do not need to build a greenhouse for ourselves.

Idiot With a Pig's Head on His Shoulder

It has been reported that Industrial Minister David Emerson had said Jack Layton had “boiled dog’s head smile.” In the Toronto Star’s report, Emerson justified it by saying that it was and expression his wife uses on him all the time. A word to the dumb politicians: do not call anyone else what your wife calls you because it can only be either an insult or sexual harassment. And in the case that your wife uses a language other that your mother tongue, be extraordinarily careful. And if your wife is Cantonese, don’t even think of do it. In the case that you must, use familiar once, like "two-timing bastard" or "been bad, need punishment." It is a testament to the love between the Emerson that Mrs. Emerson feels intimate enough to express her love by insult him good-naturedly. Unless David sees his relationship with Jack in the same light as with Mrs. Emerson, he really should not use the same expressions. And a word to Jack: don’t ask your wife for a smart reply and start practicing your “gong hei fat choy.” Now that is an expression your wife won’t say to you. Yeah, yeah, we Chinese are inscrutable.

Holiday Devastation

Holidays have evolved into manifesting themselves like natural disasters. I went to The Canadian Superstore for a trashcan today because someone appeared to have run over one of mine with a car. The state of the store was nothing short of astonishing. There was no eggs, no vegetable, little meat, and many bare shelves. They do not call themselves Superstore in vain. Usually it is a place that sends foreign visitors into catatonic culture shock. But today it was devastated by holiday consumption. The only other situation where I saw such devastation was immediately before a major storm hit. People panicked and sucked the shelves clean in preparation for the impending doom. Are holidays the equivalence of natural disasters? The state of the Superstore suggests so. Oh, and my trashcan; I got the second to the last one. While I was waiting to pay, queuing up deep into the isles, I realized I was unintentionally buying the most appropriate thing today.

Leaping Time

What I was little, it was an eternity to wait for summer to come, and then it was another eternity to wait for summer to end. The year was incomprehensibly long, to wait for New Years, to wait for birthdays, and to wait for high school. Somewhere along the line, time shifted and it all goes in a blink. Is it that when you are older, there is less to wait for? Or, is it that when you are older, you do not want to wait anymore? Whatever it is, New Years after New Years just pile on and tomorrows become yesterdays as if todays do not exist. Time seems to accelerate like the speed of a tailspin. Now they tells us that the Earth is actually slowing down and a second will be added to this year. A second! Like that will make a difference. How about adding 365 days and a second to this year. The clocks and the heavens will sync either case and we can fool ourselves into thinking that time has not passed us by without us noticing. Maybe then we can remember how to move the yoke and turn the rudder to get out of the spin.

Season of Tolerance

This is the season, many well-intended people claim, to exercise tolerance. I personally do not want tolerance at all. Think what tolerance means: the capacity to endure something disagreeable. To tolerate someone simply means that I hate and want to kill that person, but since I am a nice and kind and better person, I won’t. That is nice, isn’t it? If someone were to say that he hates white people but if they happen to sit down at the next table, he will tolerate their present and not stab them with his steak knife, it would be a very horrible thing indeed. But this is exactly what it means to say that we will practise racial/religious tolerance. It is a very thin veneer. The German people tolerated Jews for decades before 1933. I want indifference, the indifference of perfect normality. When I walk into a restaurant, I want to be a paying customer and be served, not tolerated. When I sit down, I want the next table to not take notice, because there is nothing noteworthy in the encounter. It is very nice to be the tolerator, feeling all nice and right and superior. It is not very nice to be the tolerated, feeling the passive aggression everywhere you turn. So, let us not be tolerant. If you hate someone, show it. That way, they know who you are and not turn their backs towards you. To be hated is one thing, but to be stabbed in the back doubles the insult and injury.

Rotten Time

I just realized, while I was eating a grilled Camembert sandwich, that it is the season of decay even when it comes to food. In the winter, I eat my whole year’s worth of very ripe cheeses, older wine and liquor, and aged breads like stollen and panettone. I like my Camembert with a hint of ammonia and my Stilton crumbly and frightfully looking. I want my colheita pale and rich and my whisky dark and dense. And for the holidays, I eat my stollens and panettoni made in November. It is all very appropriate, I think, since there should not be much fresh food in the winter. But if I think about it carefully, all these things are very unnatural and against all sanitary rules. We know that milk products go bad quickly and not consume them if they look, smell or taste even slightly off. But my favourite unpasteurized cheeses look deadly, smell putrid and taste thoroughly rotten. As for the alcohols, well, who knows what had crawled into those musky barrels all those years ago. Even the breads, we normally want them fresh, but these breads ask us to wait for them to mature, to go almost stale. Aside from being seasonal, is it not awfully seductive that they at once defile nature and thumb their noses at science? It is almost like consuming death while laughing at it. Meanwhile, I had better go chase down the reminder of that Camembert before it runs away.

The Fun History of Darkness

We are now in the longest night of the year, darkness reigns supreme in the Northern Hemisphere. And because of that, it is party time everywhere. All dark and cold outside, it is not a good time for farming, hunting or kill a fellow human being. We cannot very well just sit at home and try not to look into each other’s eyes. So, we came up with all kinds of thing to distract us from the awkwardness. First we tried to talk but realized how uninteresting we were. Alcoholic was then brewed to make the conversation seem interesting--to facilitate it, so to speak. When we drank enough, we started to talk all at once and bang on anything in sight. Music was then born. And when the “singing” and banging got heated, we stood up and stumbled about. As we bumped into each other and realized that this was not fighting, we called it dancing. Very soon, we all passed out from drunkenness and exhaustion. When we woke up with a new form of headache, we realized it was great fun but short lived. The cleverer of us then suggested food as both buffer for alcohol and fuel for excitement. Then and only then the feast was born. It can therefore be said that while the light gave us food and health, it is darkness that gave us culture, fun and family and community. And this is the day, and the season, to celebrate the reign of darkness.

Fish Eggs

A Liberal campaign staff made a dumb joke on TV about the Tory’s child tax credit promise and it becomes one of the biggest stories of this election. The remark is clearly stupid and the staff should be fired for saying it on TV. This does not, however, means that he was not making a valid point, though poorly. It is a credit to all parents with children. It does not in any way commit the parents to spend it on their children. Is it so inconceivable that some of that money would go into mom and dad’s beer fund? And since the poorer of the parents would need that money for their children, the better-off ones are not. They would therefore be more likely to spend that money on things other than their children. This tax credit can certainly help parents with more money in their pockets, but it does not necessarily benefit parenting. The real problem with the dumb joke is that the children of the beer and chips crowd can and will use the money; it is the champagne and caviar crowd that would use it for inebriation. It should there for be called the child/caviar tax credit instead.

Authorities of Inaccuracy

There has been much talk about the validity of Wikipedia lately. Many critics of Wikipedia have been using Encyclopaedia Britannica as the gold standard of information. What I was teaching in Universities, one of the first things I told my students was not to use any encyclopaedia, not Britannica, not Encarta, not World Book, nothing. The reason is that the accuracies in these books are highly unreliable. The facts are often wrong; and when they are not wrong, they are incomplete, mind-bogglingly over simplistic and generally confusing. To say that they are useless is an understatement. People read an entry in Britannica and think they have learnt whatever that is. The sad thing is that they have learnt nothing, if lucky. The problem behind encyclopaedias is that they hide behind their supposed authority. It would be much healthier, if people must use such sources of reference, to keep the inaccurate and unreliable nature of them in mind. I think therefore Wikipedia is the far more useful tool. Its inherent shortcomings are upfront and clear. Any inaccurate information is subjected to open correction. It may not have the air of authority as Britannica, at least it does not try to pretend to be authoritative and thus mislead its reader.

Political Infotainment

The first French and English leaders debates in this election have finished. Every news outlet will no doubt complain that they are dull. It is true, with four leaders taking turns in a “debate,” it is really a policy briefing with each of them taking turns, topic by topic. It is informative but not really a debate. There is simply no way to have an organized and interesting four-way debate. Compounding the problem is that most of the voters will not be voting for any of the leaders. I live in the district that just recently represented by Svend Robinson, who often disagrees with the leader of the NDP whoever that was. And this time, I am voting for Bill Siksay and I do not care if I like Jack Layton or not. I am sending someone to represent me, and if the party of my representative is doing things I do not think it should be doing, I fully expect my representative to go against his party. It would make for a much more informative exercise if we have a two round system then we can have the two candidates in the run-off to debate each other. We can then know not only what their parties’ positions are, but theirs as well. This way, I think we would be better served as well as entertained.

Entertain your family

Opening this week are two movies with major awards hopes: King Kong and Brokeback Mountain. One is about the volatile romantic relationship between a blonde female human and a giant black ape. The other is about the somewhat less volatile romantic relationship between two cowboys. One relationship falls apart and the hairy terrorist destroyed much of New York City. The other appears to just have a lot of unresolved issues. King Kong is widely anticipated as a family movie and Brokeback Mountain has so far been described as “controversial.” When you think about it, the general moral evaluation is a bit messed up here. How come bestiality can be considered family entertainment while homosexuality not? I should think that romance between same specie should be considers more moral than between different species.

Beat the Bush

The US is complaining that Paul Martin is bashing Bush to get votes on his campaign trail. This is true and not too manly on Martin’s part, but what do they expect. Truth be told, who is not bashing Bush for votes, both domestically and internationally, these days? When a government rightly or wrongly pursuits policies that are unpopular at home and aboard, that is what they should expect. Whenever there is an election in the US, some hopefuls always bash Canada for lax border, tolerance on marijuana and even the fact that we have a comprehensive public healthcare system. That is the way it goes with elections. If Bush does not want to be bashed, he should sign the Kyoto Accord, open up the softwood market and repay the billions the US has taken on softwood imports. If I want to be liked by my friends, I would honour the agreements between us and act with their welfares in mind. If I do not, I will not complain about them “bashing” me, for I have earned it.

Dating Tax Credit

As Stephen Harper continues on his cross-country tax credit tour, I am feeling left out. Pensioners got a tax credit; parents got a tax credit; family with children in organized sports got a tax credit; and pensioners who have children in organized sports got three different credits all together. It is all very nice, but what about the not-yet-retired single person without jock offspring? I think I should be promised a dating tax credit. It has become clear from the credits promised that the Conservative Party wants people to retire and have sports playing children. That is very nice indeed. Would it not be better then to make dating and finding a mate more financially viable? That way there will be more retired parents of jocks. If we have to slave deep into the nights and weekends to make enough money to go on the noble pursuit of an eligible mate to make healthy babies, when can we possible be retirable? And if we are saving every penny towards retirement, how can we afford the expenses of dating? So, single people are the one in the most desperate need of a break. Since Mr. Harper has been playing Santa everywhere, I would like to know why I am not getting any presents. Is the Conservative Party anti-singles? It looks increasing so.

Table Turned

As I watch people shop for Christmas presents, I cannot help but be ashamed of my generation. Once upon a time, our parents gave us presents that they thought we needed and threw in a toy or two that we wanted. The gifts that we wanted were treats, source of excitement. We had our wish lists, not shopping lists. So many people, many of whom my dearest friends, do not considered their children’s lists wish list, i.e. no one expect everything on it will materialize. The whole point of Christmas, Hanukah or Chinese New Year presents is that they are our report cards from our parents. We used to work the whole year to be in our parents’ favour to get the presents. In the process, we learnt to behave and to act and to think. We worked hard to earn our parents’ love and the valuable tokens of that love in the end of the year. Time has certainly changed. Parents now are the ones who are desperate for the love of their children, instead of the other way around. And in this season of report cards, it is the parents who are trying to get good grades from their children with what they are told to be the sure items of bribery. No more socks, sweaters and books for the kids; the all-important items are ipods and xboxs and cell phones, all of them. No wonder parents are complaining that they cannot handle their children. Instead of working of their parents’ love to get things they want, children find it easier to simply withhold love to get them. Watching it is just depressing.

Rare Sunny Day

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Is this Holland or Christmas?

This is the time of massive light pollution in every city and town in North America. Millions of watts burn in the front yards and the roofs of holiday-spirited people. I admit it all looks kind of nice in a campy sort of way. We must ask, however, that if this is a good thing in this time of “energy crisis.” It is not bad to run a couple dozen of 15W for a couple hours a day. But when the total consumption and light output of a single “display” outstrip those of the entire neighbourhood, it is a little too much. I think we should have some kind of limit on power consumption this time of the year. And while we are at it, a limit on luminous would be good too. I am not against Christmas; I just want to help to lessen our dependence on oil. And, I want to lessen the redness of the entire front part of my house, resulting from the display across the street. My neighbour’s house looks colourful, but sitting in my living room looking at the blinking redness, I feel like there must be a couple of young women in underwear sitting next to my windows. And that is more Amsterdam than North Pole, all distinctively not Christmas.

Narnia, the New Bible

I don’t quite understand the commotion over the relationship between the film Narnia and Christianity. It is, after all, written by a Christian. If it contained no hint of Christian narratives and images, then it would have been shocking. As it stands, it is perfectly normal. And it is also normal that Disney would want to market it to the Christian communities. What is a bit unsettling is that some churches are using the cartoon images of the film to promote their religion. I would think that is at least a little blasphemous. It is like the Cardinal Glick in Dogma promoting a new “hip” image of Jesus. It cheapens the religion to the level of pop culture. “JC is cool like a two dimensional talking cartoon lion.” Talking about blasphemy. Some evangelicals are getting more and more this way, JCTV, Christian rock and all that. End is justifying the means, not very religious at all.

First Gritty Shot

Now, at long last, is the beginning of the Liberal offensive in the War of Fantasies. Paul Martin just proposed a complete ban of handguns. I am for a handgun ban but it will not cut down on the recent “wave” of shootings. To lower the number of legally held handguns will certainly lessen the total number of shootings somewhat, but the recent shootings that got everyone so worried were primarily committed with illegal guns smuggled from south of the border. A ban will not change the supply or demand for illegal guns. So, the two are two fundamentally different issues. To think one will have an effect on the other is pure fantasy. As it is such pure fantasy, it is not very effective. If the Liberals want to win this war, they had better come up with some better fantasies in the coming days.

Boycotts

The American Family Association, along with a number of “conservative” groups, advocates a series of boycotts against companies for their contribution to or business with homosexual groups, including the Gay Games. One of AFA’s directors explains that the Gay Games brings together a lot of people and “With this many people, we expect an increase in the bar scene, and we expect a lot of anonymous sexual encounters." Clearly they did not think this thing through. To be true to this objection, the AFA cannot bank anywhere at all. Take the Olympics for example; they distributed over 70,000 free condoms to 11,000 athletes in Sydney. We can surmise that more than a few were used for their intended purpose during the Games. Chances are also that some of these encounters were between people of the same sex. So, they cannot bank with anyone who contributes to the Olympics. There may be some banks that do not, but they all do business with one professional organization or two. Almost every profession has at least one conference. I have been to a conference or two in my days and I can testify to the universal truth that the two most popular activities in conferences are drinking and sex. So, banks that make donations to any professional organization or members of such groups are out too. Now all the AFA and other groups’ member can bank nowhere, hire no professional, and cannot be a professional. This will create a horrible deprivation on AMA members. As a humanitarian, I must sound an alarm for this upcoming disaster.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

A lot of people are complaining about the January election because it distracts from “the most wonderful time of the year.” I think, however, that nothing is more befitting the season as a federal campaign. Think about this: why is this the most wonderful time of the year? It is because we all get gifts and wish for unrealistic things. In other words, it is a time of fantasy. What do people do immediately after Christmas? They line up to return gifts that they do not want and pay out of their own pockets for what they wanted but did not get. Wishes too come crashing down as soon as the New Year hangover is felt. The time is wonderful because for a week or so we all live in complete self-illusion. Election is exactly the same. Gifts are dealt out in all directions by all parties. We then pick and choose to see what we like, knowing full well that few if any of them will materialize after the big day, and even fewer will turn out to be something we need. Nonetheless, we indulge ourselves in the fantasy of it all, just like we fantasize about being fitter, healthier and richer in the New Year. So, I say let us make this part of the most wonderful time of the year, since we are in the mood already.

Bribe du Jour

Mr. Harper’s bribe du jour is a $1200 a year child-care allowance to parents regardless of income. One cannot help but admire Mr. Harper’s consistence, rolling out these largess one day at a time. Just like the GST cut back, this “allowance” benefits the wealthy more than poor. Four and a half billion dollars are earmarked for this programme, if it comes to be. Every parent of children under six will receive the money equally. Consequently a portion of the money will go to people who have no need for the extra money for childcare. They can go buy themselves something nice and save on the GST. I have always thought social programmes are there to help people who need them. Giving money to people who do not need it means taking money from people who need it. And since the conservatives like to claim to be fiscally responsible, it is confusing to see them proposing to hand out money without consideration of need. Unless, of course, that they are not really fiscally responsible but to-the-rich-folks responsible. It would be more efficient to consider income and needs before handing out money or services in a progressive scales. The more Mr. Harper proposes, the more it becomes evident that he is against one basic principle of organizing society—to poll together resources to assist the weak and the poor among us because it is fair, human and necessary to stability and the welfare of all.

Slash This, Slash That.

One of the main issues so far in this federal election is tax cut. The Conservatives is proposing a cut on the GST, while the Liberals a personal income tax cut. It has been pointed out that this is an interesting exchange of positions with the Conservatives bought in the GST and the Liberals ran against it. The seller of the GST cut is arguing that it is going to be obvious saving and it is a cut equally benefiting all levels of society. In his programme Politics, Don Newman, Senior Parliamentary Editor for CBC News, insisted this point in front of a host of talking heads. It is shocking how simple-minded Newman was, even after guest after guest laid out the math showing it benefits the wealthy more than the poor as the wealthy spent far more. What no one pointed out in the programme is that basic groceries, public transportation, prescription drugs and rent are not covered by the GST. For low-income families, these items make up a major chunk of their expanses. As they are not GST taxable, they will not get any cheaper if there is a cut in GST. So, as the larger percentage of the lower-income families’ is spent on non-GST taxable items, a cut in GST will benefit them minimally. On the other hand, for a higher-income family buying a new 60” plasma TV, the benefit is quite substantial. Plus, it does not do me much good if I save 20 cents every time I shop at Safeway. It would do me a lot of good if I get 100, 200 dollars more on my refund check in May. If my vote were for sale, I would certainly go for a income tax cut.

Winter Kills

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Separation of Church and Aids

The World AIDS Day has just passed and all the leaders of all the worlds have made their speeches pledging to do more to fight it. Living in North America, I cannot help but be bothered by the “abstinence first” campaign. While it is true that not having sex is the most successful way of preventing the acquisition of HIV, it is the least successful way of population-wide prevention. The reason is simple, sex is one of the few truly natural urges we human have. To ask people not to have sex to prevent STD is like asking people not to eat to prevent food poisoning. It is just not realistic. The promotion of sexual hygiene is the only way to go. Unfortunately, the churches and the political right somehow are fixated on controlling the sexual behaviour of the young. They are less concerned with deceases than with using them to control sexual behaviours. They want people to have sex with those who are officially sanctioned. Meanwhile, people are dying from a host of highly preventable deceases. They really do not care if millions die so long as a few stop having sex outside of sanctioned marriages. Ideology usurps the mission of the works—to save lives. This is just one example of why these kinds of work should not have any religious flavour at all.

Wag the Dog

The LA Times has reported “As part of an information offensive in Iraq, the U.S. military is secretly paying Iraqi newspapers to publish stories written by American troops in an effort to burnish the image of the U.S. mission in Iraq.” This should not be a surprise to anyone as the US government is mired in story planting and media manipulation. What is interesting is that they actually contracted a “firm” called Lincoln Group, formerly Iraqex, in Washington to do the dirty work of misrepresenting the source of the stories to Iraqi papers. It is clear that they see the news as an advertising and public relations medium for the state, i.e. propaganda. This is exactly how communist governments see the news media. Is it not curious that the conservative US government just keep looking more and more like its old sworn enemy?