I wish I believed

Every time my body fails me or something terrible happens in the world, I wish I grew up a Judeo-Christian. As I get older and as news gets more immediate, that has become almost a daily event. If I were once a Christian, say, I would be angry with god for being a poor designer and manufacturer of bio-organisms and worlds. I can then raise my fist and wave it at the sky. I can be bitter and disillusioned. I would have someone to blame for everything. Unfortunately, I cannot. No one is there to be blame for an atheist. For a Buddhist, it is hard to blame a universal and eternal mechanism of suffering that is the illusory world of desire. And it is equally hard for those who believe that the world started from the fragmented body of the first creature, for it no longer exist. I am convinced that monotheist creationism is good for this thing at least. I just wish I could take advantage of it.